So I’ve received my first rejection from medical school today.  I guess I was supposed to feel a bit sad, but surprisingly (and almost not) I didn’t feel anything.  No pangs of agony, no sense of impending doom, no fear or worry.  I felt nothing.  It was as if I was reading another newsletter, except this was about me.

And this realization saddens me.  I have always been apathetic ever since high school — not really caring about politics, people, or activities.  I find passionate people annoying and narrow-minded and belittle those who use phrase “best in the world” all too frequently.  But to be apathetic about my future is a little worrisome.  I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life.  I’ll just be a downer that no one wants to be around.

But I guess it’s my personality, my trait.  It’s something I can’t change but I have to work around and live with.  I remember a while back, I had a conversation with my brother about my decision to go to med school.  I said to him, “Anh Tho, I don’t see myself enjoying this job at all.”  You know what my brother said? “Well Donnie, I don’t see you enjoying any job at all.”  Hah.  That was my response, my response to everything.